John the Beloved

Setting realistic expectations

We can only set them once we are clear about who we are and want to be.

Anything else makes our expectations of ourselves subject to failure.

Begin by being clear about your values. What’s important to you in life? How well have you managed your expectations in the past? If you look at where you succeeded you have clues to how to continue to do so. This provides clues to expectations we might have that will work for us.

What hidden fears might you be holding onto? Breathe into your expectations and allow any feelings to come up. For example, are you worthy of what you want?

Look at what you really wish to take away from the experience rather than aiming for perfect. After all, we are none of us perfect so why add that burden?

Create small achievable steps towards achieving your expectation –  of self, others or events. Then as things begin to develop you can take bigger steps. If they don’t develop then evaluate where what you expected seems to be taking a detour and reconsider. Do you still wish to continue or will you set a different expectation based on events?

Do the best you can and breathe into it. After all, Rome wasn’t built in a day so why do we expect that of ourselves?


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